New Life Emerging...

When Stewart was first killed, the word that resonated in my spirit is this:

"Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth & dies, it remains by itself alone. But if it dies, it bears much fruit." (John 12:24)

I knew there was much significance in this truth & how it pertained to Stewart's death even though I could only begin to wrap my mind around it. Through death, comes life... It takes death to bring about life, to bear new fruit. I knew instinctually that through Stewart's death, fruit would be borne...

In the past few weeks, I have entered into a new season of this journey. It's interesting to me how something so invisible as a feeling & a sense of a season can be so tangible & so real. Along with the sense of a new season has come the hindsight of where I have come from...

I am able to see & feel so clearly, that just like a grain of wheat that has died, & by it borne much fruit, that not only has Stewart died, but I have died too...

I have walked through a hard season of grief & death. And now, all of a sudden, there is new life emerging.

One of the beautiful blessings I gained from being married to Stewart was how knowing him & being loved by him, made me blossom & grow. I am a stronger person & more alive from knowing him than I ever was without him. He encouraged my strengths & nurtured me where I was weak. The only way I can describe the experience is to say that it allowed me to begin to blossom into the woman God has created me to be.

But in hindsight, looking back on where I have come from as I sense this new season emerging, I see parts of me that I didn't even know existed are growing, getting stronger, & starting to blossom. New facets of me. It feels as though I died, but now am growing stronger & becoming more alive through experiencing Stewart's death & coming face to face with my deepest fear. I'm seeing that God is intricately involved in all that I am, & all that I face. I'm seeing a natural rhythm to life. I believe I am beginning to see the flowers that blossom before the fruit is borne... New parts of me God is strengthening & refining.

As through death, pain touches a level of the spirit that opens us up in a very vulnerable way. It's a deep place that only God can fill. And if we will give it to Him completely yielded, trusting in His purpose, what a beautiful opportunity it becomes to experience the heart of God & become acquainted with the term "intimacy with the Almighty." As I have yielded this pain & this journey, the Spirit of God has come & been faithful to satisfy me with His presence, His grace, His love, and a supernatural joy, peace & trust in His purpose...

I see the beauty of Stewart's life & I am truly beginning to see beauty in his death...

"I CAN do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."

I know you guys have been eagerly anticipating my next blog entry, wondering what in the world Rachel is doing out there at that cabin, if anything!! Well, I agree it has been far too long since my last post, but rest assured, my wheels are turning...

Every time I'm out at the cabin, I realize more & more that this passion I feel to build this thing is so much a part of my heart. It is a strong vision. Not only that, but I feel such a peace out there. When I think of all the awesome memories that have been made while working on this cabin; the blood, sweat, & tears that have been shed out there; well, the emotions attached run deep into my being...

Stewart's spirit has so vibrantly touched my life...

It feels like this cabin, this property, & the passion that I still carry to see this vision fulfilled, is a living honor to Stewart. But also, every time I am out there, there is a quiet sweetness that is left in my soul. There is peace. Sometimes it feels as if Stewart's spirit has intertwined with my own, because this hard working fearless nature comes out of me & propels me forward to do things that I thought I could never do. I am very thankful for the strength I have gained from having to do hard things. Having to feel hard things. Having to see hard things. The things that are growing in me due to this are an eternal gift...

For me, it feels like I am pushing forward into unknown territory as I take steps to finish this cabin. It is quite the elephant of a project & overwhelms me at times. But I HAVE to do this. It is too much a part of my heart not to...

Sometimes I find myself in a situation where I have to make a decision on something that I really don't know a lot about. So, I do a little research, ask some questions, think about it, change my mind a few times & finally come to a decision. It just takes me a little longer than I'd like it to, and can sometimes leave me feeling a bit overwhelmed which tends to slow me down. Then sometimes I start getting a lot done & I feel totally charged up & super encouraged about gettin' er done!!

Just the highs & lows I experience while working on the cabin.... But trying to take it step by step, bite by bite...

I have made some good progress lately!!

Check out those awesome Clopay garage doors! This was a hard decision for me, but I finally did it & am very satisfied with the results.


Okay, so a few of the pictures are back from November when we finished the floor & did the framing. Check out John's amazing job of cutting the floor around that cypress ridge pole support log (RPSL). Thanks John!

A picture of the pine floor finished.

Kennon & John framing up the bathroom wall.

Kennon & Charles adding a supportive beam above the door.

Kennon framing up the closet & the left loft wall. Thanks Kennon!

So all of the major things I have gotten done recently: I had the rough electrical done, the underground power lines put in, the septic & water lines put in & connected to the garage, & all the rough plumbing done. I found a bush hog, got the property all cleaned up nice, & moved a big pile of logs that were next to the garage & getting on my nerves... Thanks Dad, for helping me with that!

This may not look like much to you, but I am very excited about this outdoor plumbing. This is the future site of one amazing outdoor shower!

Below are pictures of the rough plumbing & the rough electrical done. Definately a learning experience for me. I had never even seen wires to this degree before. Pretty neat. Even neater is the fact that I know every detail of this cabin inside & out!

Another picture of the great room floor finished.

The framing for the stain glass window going in

A side view of the garage doors.

Up next, getting ready to complete the backfill around the garage & put in a retaining wall, fixing the water drainage for the property, installing HVAC, gas lines in, spray foam insulation, then the chinking party you have all been waiting for...

"He will be the stability of your times, abundant in salvation, wisdom & knowledge." Isaiah 33:6